The suffocating smell takes me back to the night Isaac took me from the election party. I remember his dead, dark eyes and the pungent smell of burning paper the most. Jase knows that, so I don’t understand why he would come home smelling that way. The memories come rushing back—the way his hoarse voice spoke of his so-called love for me and hatred for Jase.

I try to use the techniques my therapist taught me—breathing in and exhaling out, changing my thoughts to those of peaceful waters—but nothing calms me. The smell is so strong. My body tingles like I'm going to jump out of my skin.

I sit up and throw the covers off me. I don't know what to do, but I know I can't lie next to Jase anymore. Uncomfortable and restless, my anxiety reaches at an all-time high. I can’t stop thinking of all the places Jase could have been. The thought of him drinking and planning a new way to get a criminal out of jail makes my skin crawl. I can’t face the truth right now. I can’t face him right now.